I had something completely different prepared for today’s post but then this, originally posted 3 years ago today, showed up in my timehop with the caption “20 weeks and all is well!”

When Frankie was tiny we got a lot of questions. “Didn’t you *know*?” people would ask incredulously. No. We didn’t. Nasal bone was present, nuchal fold was in range, limbs were proportional. There were no red flags, no markers, no indications. I used to wonder What if the sono equipment had been a little bit better? Or what if the technician was a little bit keener? Would that have made a difference? Would we have known?

But that opens a whole other can of worms. What would we have done with that information? What decision would we make if we were counseled on all of the things she wouldn’t do instead of what she could? If we were told about all of the complications without any of the insights? If we were led to believe there would only be lows but no highs?

Personally I am glad that decision was taken out of my hands. But many families do have that information and must make that decision. And I truly believe it is theirs to make. But that is exactly why I share so much of Frankie – because she and so many others like her are the CAN to the CAN’T and the BEAUTY to the UGLY and the JOY to the DESPAIR. She is not scary or broken or less than. She is just a perfect little person.

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